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Tag: alcohol

On Social Nuisances and New Arrivals

Ice DripsSo, we now have a third housemate. She doesn’t work, she doesn’t contribute and she rarely cleans up after herself – but I’ll get to that bit later.Snow Flowers

We’ve been enjoying/surviving the winter conditions with varying mixtures of excitement, tolerance and ice-induced pain; as it transpires, my most sensible of black shoes are entirely ill-suited to a frictionless surface, and Meg has had opportunity aplenty to marvel and/or laugh at my steadily increasing rage after the eighth slip.

Aaron StrikesThe Adventures of the Westerners continue with the newest episode in the series – Hailey & Aaron do Itaewon. In true form, I spent the majority of the day cowering behind my camera as the Americans presented themselves to the public in ways I could never manage whilst sober. The weekend brought much in the way of education and hilarity, as Aaron took Hailey & I on an epic tour of the War Memorial of Korea Museum, complete with statistical information and unbiased historical backstory. His otherwise rude gesticulations at the North Korean-fashioned mannequins were met with relatively little reprobation.Hailey Retaliates

Aaron IntrudesShortly before reuniting with the otherwise busy Megan Coast – see later for purpose of absence – we had the pleasure of encountering the usual chain of enthusiastic shop-merchants and publicists dragging in tourists from the street. Aaron had ample opportunity to test-drive his new Noise (O-OOHRGH! : a mix of the previously described U-UGH! and a chortling walrus) when confronted with an eager salesgirl outside Nature Republic (huge Korean skin-products chain: think Body Shop meets Marks & Spencers). The conversation went something like:

I think Hailey won.

I think Hailey won.

SHOP ASSISTANT: Would you like to try new skin lotion? Only 3,000!

AARON: O-OOHRGH!

SA: Also, 30% off all products!

A: O-OOHRGH?

SA: Free service products when purchasing!

A: [fading into distance past SA] O-Oohrrghh….!

Kudos to her professionalism – though Aaron was doing a marvellous impression of being On A Day Trip at the time, so perhaps he wasn’t the specific target market. I hasten to add that Hailey is nothing if not encouraging of such behaviour.

Now, for the Development. Despite the looming forces of Logic and Practicality, we have done exactly what a major percentage of travellers would recommend against.

Meet Millie.

Millie

I’m hoping your initial reaction is closer to oh my GAWD she is so CUTE I want to HAVE her for CHRISTMAS rather than a stern disapproval. I know she’s going to be a pain at times, and I know things might be a bit more complicated – but I also know that we literally saved her life from the Kill Shelter, and you can’t send THAT face back to be put down. Places like that prove that you can keep a good dog down, unfortunately.Tiny Dog

I am fully aware that the Internet is not lacking in pet photos, and that your darlings are never as interesting to someone else –but puppies are invariably more interesting/adorable than the young of our own species, so my apology is largely for show. Millie is four months old, and we have had her for three days of that – but she is (mostly…) housetrained, she can be left alone for extended periods without issue and is the single most affectionate being on the planet. Basically, she’s better than most people’s neighbours.Millie's Favourite

Millie's CoatI know I wouldn’t mind sitting on my soft bottom and watching crap TV all day while everyone else is at work.

This blog has been a warning to you: there WILL be more dog-photos to come, and I WILL assume that people actually want to see them. I will take your silence as assent.

Trilling Adventures

When one finds oneself in a strange and mystical land, one expects a certain amount of Language Barrier issues. If the geographical tables were turned, it would be a well-meaning Korean making whole conversations out of ‘Hello!’, ‘Sorry!’, ‘Thankyou!’, ‘Delicious!’, ‘Toilet!’ and/or managing an infant’s grasp on counting numbers.

Rebounding off this situation when in the company of native English-speakers, you would imagine that coherent and intelligent conversation would flow enthusiastically, if not maniacally. You would imagine.

Having just returned from a debauched weekend of Chili’s fried animal, undecanted whiskey (who needs glasses?) and Channing Tatum, I feel that I have been initiated into the coping mechanism of my fellow westerners: they make noises at each other instead. In much the same way that any species’ mother knows its infant’s cry, each member of the crew has their own noise to punctuate conversation.

Aaron/Lori: U-Ugh! (something between ‘I’ve stubbed my toe’ and ‘I’m reaching climax’)

Hailey/Juri/Meg: Dr-r-r-r-r-r-r… (the love-child of a distant pneumatic drill and a peturbed Chewbacca)

Other noises include sad whalesong, atonally lyricising hot pocket… , standing by a nearby window and crying America! Caw-caw!, diminuitising any stressful situation by explaining that ain’tnobodygottimeforthat , turkey gobbling, breathy honk-honks, – etc. etc. Miraculously, these did little to prohibit any actual conversation, and did indeed seem to fuel much of the afternoon’s/evening’s/night’s/morning’s/afternoon’s activities.

Any fears of my RAF coat coming across as douche-tastic/ tactless on the US base were allayed quickly, and I had many-a opportunity to brag mercilessly about Grandpa Roy Cumberlidge’s WW2 escapades – hence the jacket, ladies and gents. The usual deep philosophising was had with total strangers, courtesy of Mr. Ethanol, and the usual battering of senses was had the following day. Of course, if there’s one thing the Internet needs more of, it’s people whining about hangovers.

Pointing blame.

This coming weekend brings the celebrated return of my other lady, Ms. 60D, whom I will be retrieving from the repair shop and fondling lovingly in as public a space as possible. If you don’t know who she is, you will have to live with the misunderstood innuendo. For the meanwhile, Meg’s Mr. Sony has served admirably – but the somewhat lessened cam-erection has been a worry of mine this past fortnight. Watch this space for amateur pretentiousness – coming to a blog near you soon.

Juri’s drinking technique baffles us.